Aimless Ramblings of I: 02/20/2005

never cease to amaze

{also posted in my pathetic journal}

last night, andi and summer came over, and my daughter was being quite rude and threw a fit upon their departure... she's having the terrible fives i think...

well, after they left, i threw on this new goth compilation i bought with a remix of the Cure's "A Forest"... and lo and behold... my little daughter just started dancing and twirling and swirling... i believe we played it 4 times... she ran up and said "oh mommy, this is my new favorite song now"... her previous was "A Beautiful Day" by U2...

here's the great part... when it was over and we were getting her into her bath... she turned to me and said "mommy, i don't want you to get old... i don't want you to die" to which i said "baby, i don't want to die soon either"... then she says, "don't you want to play tag with Daddy one more time?"

geez... if any of you have ever read my poem, "one more life", you'll know where she got that...

they do listen... to everything... and they do understand... almost everything…

and they'll never cease to amaze me...

i took these shots today... i'm 21 wks prego with our little girl...

can you see Zoe?

21 weeks pregnant

i could not help myself... look at these socks... they rock! (i have a pair for Zoe too!)

ok, how fortunate am i?... look at that sun... i love you, audrey...

contemplative

the baby is awake and moving... it feels neat...

i need to realize there are those that matter and those that don't and not get my feelings hurt by those that don't, even if they are in my immediate and near immediate family... no matter how narcissistic, mean and hurtful they are... i have to remember i have those that really love me, and they need my attention now...

i will work on that this week... and i will also stop going out of my way to do things for others who do not treat me as i treat them... i'm tired of being used... wonder what holidays will be like now that Michele is taking the afternoon off... i don't care anymore... i think i've done my part... my biological children need me now... they were the only ones who ever really did...

Morning...

I love my little Audrey... I think she is smarter than I, and I am ok with this... Little Zoe (yes, I do think that is the name we are going to keep... my Love picked it out... Audrey wants it to be "Zoe Lynn", but Rob's daughter already has his middle name) is swimming around my belly right now... Being pregnant is such an interesting experience...

I'm off to brave the Antelope Valley freeway... I miss you, my Love... I hope you are safe at work today...